Knitting, and Other Creative Successes

So I have started knitting.

A year ago, a friend I met in Bible study brought in a book on knitting pillows she had won from a raffle earlier in the week. She had been knitting for years and was explaining to me the ins-and-outs of how truthfully easy something like this was to knit. I did not believe her.

My own experience in the creative parts of life are as a cook and a writer. When I feel a tug to do something creative, or keep my hands busy, I generally open my pantry or Microsoft Word. Baking makes me happy, and writing is an invaluable medium for me. My handwriting still stinks to high heaven, though.

I explained to my friend, Terry, that I am not particularly crafty, but she was still willing to try what I thought was impossible: teach me to knit. My sister is the one who sews and makes things that are really impressive. The things I made, in my experience, were at the first-grade-toilet-paper-roll-craft level.

I have since discovered that this is not true, that actually I really like to craft. Some stuff I make even looks good. Most projects have a quirky, homemade quality, and I particularly enjoy making party decorations. But my friend, Terry, said that she could teach me. She was confident that knitting really is easy to learn, very relaxing, and fun.

I agreed, and she was right. Anyone can knit, even me.

We started by making simple swatches to learn both knit and purl, which are just opposites of each other and make up about 75% of the actions taken to actually knit something up. For a while I wondered how these two actions could take place side-by-side without canceling each other out, but it works.

Soon I was making really good-looking swatches, with no knots or holes or water stains (not that I would ever leave cold water alone for hours only to find the condensation would reach my project and warp the yarn.) Then, I graduated to the world’s longest scarf, because after practicing over and over, I had forgotten how to finish (called binding off). Then I made things for cute kids, like hats, and things with features I once thought really complicated, like cables.

It really is relaxing, too. There is something about the rhythm of knitting; it reminds me a bit like the praying the Rosary. While getting some nervous energy out by keeping your hands busy, you can really focus your mind and heart on much bigger things. I have found myself praying in the middle of a project many times, wondering why I hadn’t tried this method of prayer more often.

Overall, I recommend it. If you are looking for something new in the creative realm, try knitting. It is not just for older ladies, or for people with tons of free time. Many of the projects I have made held true to their quick-and-easy promise, and turned out nice for people of all ages. Some are even trendy (I am pretty sure a hundred years ago people were not knitting Kindle covers.)

But consider knitting not so much for the end result, though that is a nice bonus. In general, it is good to try something new every once in a while without worrying you might fail a couple times before succeeding. How you handle failure in small matters can shape how you handle it in big ones. For me, the perfect little thing to fail in—before happily succeeding—was knitting. And now, I have a wonderful new hobby.

Three Years

My husband Stephen and I just celebrated our three-year anniversary. People we know feel all sorts of things about this; “Is that all?”or “Already?!” or “Talk to us when you get to three decades” are all commonly said. And in some respects, these things are totally true.

But in several respects, we are a lot further along than what three years looks like on the face. We, like most newlyweds, have dealt with many unexpected struggles. I won’t be diving into those struggles today. Many, thankfully, we were ready for because we have kept prayer and communication lines open. Other struggles were learn-as-you-go.

This post will share some of the basic things we have learned in three years of marriage. Some are truly universal. Some are not. Some prove that we are laps behind where other people are (“They had to learn that? C’mon, that’s too basic….”) Gratefully, we are at least here, in the race.

It made the most sense to me to share these things not as advice for the world, but advice for myself in the world. Since my job as spouse is to get my husband to heaven, consider this my to-remember list for the next year.

Jennifer,

You are not twins. And that is good. Great, in fact. You do not like all the same foods, or have the same habits. If your husband does not fall head over heels for your lasagna with kale, that is not a sign that your marriage in trouble. It is a sign that you don’t adore yourself to the point of marrying a clone, and that your husband feels safe and open enough with you to share the truth. Again, this is great. Focus on the uniqueness that is your husband. Share your own uniqueness with him, like your creativity in how you will find other ways to sneak feed him kale. And, embrace the differences as a way you can tag-team the things you will encounter as a couple, each one sharing his or her own strengths as applicable.

You are not date night people. You have heard from lots of women who swear by a date night, that this has worked wonders in their own marriage. Good for them. This is just not realistic for us, at least not right now. One night a week that you keep for dates, carved in stone, does not give the same authenticity off which you and Stephen thrive. Some of the best dates we have had can’t be called “dates,” because they offered spontaneous opportunity to focus on the other. Accept that your version of date night might be 15 minutes on a Wednesday morning, where no one has yet brushed their teeth.  

You have to commit. Cell phones, TV’s, computers—basically anything with a screen—can be a demand for your time, and pretty soon, your heart. And those are just the things we pay for. Look at all the other demands the world puts on us that we aren’t asking for. There will never be a work-family-obligation perfect storm. You are called to commit in the chaos.

You are not enemies. Disagreements are normal, not an invitation to debate. Debates have winners, and they have losers. And when one of you loses, you both lose. Marriage means you are on the same team. Be forgiving. Be reconciliatory. Complement each other, don’t compete with one another. Get over problems with open communication and as few tears as possible. Why? Because a new issue-demanding-tissues will probably be around the corner. Do not plant your flag on a big hunk of cheese, because you will soon find that after awhile your feet are oozing into a festering puddle of what once resembled something worthwhile.

You are not what the world tells you. Good wives are not perfect domestics, ball-busting career women, catty gossips, sex kittens or totally indifferent. If you see wives like this, don’t fall for their easy step-by-step how-to-be-a-modern-wife routine. They are thinking only of themselves, and you have done enough of that for a lifetime. For the most part, you are doing ok, good even. In many respects, step up. Put on your big girl high heels and be the wife your husband deserves. Be helpful. Be patient. Be affectionate. Be respectful. Be kind. And, be OK with being wrong.

You are not behind. You are not raising any kids yet, like you thought you would be. This is not a failure. Many people will tell you that you have all the time in the world. Try not to be offended. Other people will notice the lack of brood in toe and ask what the holdup is. Try not to get upset. Find the lovely middle ground that is your very blessed life right now, and settle in to accepting—and embracing—that God wants you where He has you.  

You are not alone. Do not become like the couples you know who drain you with their selfishness. They do no lift up their spouse, and instead of bragging about all of their spouse’s wonderful qualities, they grumble about (perceived) faults. They take from one another, complain, and look to us to take sides. In a way, they are travelling in this world not as part of a couple, but very much alone. This is more than exhausting. This is poisonous. This type of attitude only focuses on you, and not on your sacrifice and commitment for your husband. You and Stephen have found over and over when you focus first on God, then on your spouse, it leaves very little time for focusing on yourself—and that is when you both are happiest. Do not let others come between you and your spouse. Protect and honor your marriage vows.

You must have faith. Seek Him first, and believe He has a much greater plan in mind for you and Stephen than you could have ever imagined yourself. If you seek His will, He will work it in your life. This means that the peaks are a peek at heaven, and the valleys are when you are closest to our Lord. Trust.

And now to you. Anything I should remember over the next year?

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First To Catch Up

Hello Everyone!

Looking at this blog, the last time I really sat down to publish a post was more than a year and a half ago. Maybe you missed this blog. Many times I did. Or, maybe this is a new discovery for you, in which case, welcome.

This past year and a half have been focused on reflection, on prayer, on growth, and on letting things that I wanted fizzle out, knowing that something much bigger, much more beautiful, and much more worthwhile was on the horizon.

And when I wasn’t looking, the sun rose.

I am honored to have a new job (well, “new” since more than a year and a half ago) as Stewardship Coordinator at Holy Spirit Church, my home parish for more than two decades. I have been in that position since October 2012. I get to share with my fellow Catholics the joy in recognizing that everything we have received is a gift from God, and that the best way to love Him is to give those gifts back to Him in the way that He desires from us. I get to chat with individual parishioners about my own experience of losing a job, of feeling a bit lost, of being unsure of how God could use me if I wasn’t being productive in the way the world values--but always getting to share how He desires us and that I am supposed to play a specific role in this world. I get to really dialogue with members of our faith community about how we can personally connect to support one another on this, our faith journey.

At work, we are beginning to focus on creating and growing a social media presence that is a reflection of our vibrant parish life. It’s very exciting work, and we are meeting with many parishes, individuals and organizations who have helped blaze the trail in this realm, including Lisa Hendey and Right to Life of Central California. And, of course, we are working on spreading the Gospel in the way that reaches how we communicate in the modern world while maintaining the truth and beauty of it. As our effort grows and develops, I am privileged to be part of it.

So much more to come in that arena. As for the rest of my life, stay tuned!

Return

I know I have been gone for quite a while, but I plan to return to a regular posting schedule here--with good content--very soon.

Please stay tuned, if you are so inclined.

Thanks, and God Bless!

 Jen

Lessons From Fencing Class

Hello blog reader people! Hope your day is going well so far. Man, this shorter week (because of Labor Day) has sure gone by a lot faster than I was prepared for. At least we are rushing toward Saturday--my dear friend is getting married then! Woo-hoo!

But, I figured before celebrating with champagne and ... uh ... champagne*, let's reflect. Weddings signal the beginning of a life united together and in Our Lord. I remember when planning my own wedding, it wasn't difficult to get carried away with things like decorations, or food, or the infamous dress. However, it is most important to remember that a wedding is about the marriage with that person you love very much.

Being married will be hard, challenging, frustrating, and, at times upsetting. But instead of fighting, abandoning each other, or taking to bad habits, you and your partner should always choose to work together to fix the problem.

Or, you could do what we do to keep the marriage going: sword fight.

That's right everybody! It's time for lessons (and a couple pics) from fencing class! Get excited!

LESSONS FROM FENCING CLASS:

-If you are thinking that you have run out of gift ideas, try something unexpected. I bought Stephen and I fencing lessons, and he totally loved it! I was the cool wife. I had everything going for me. Great anniversary idea, ladies.

-Wear clothes that you will want to keep outside afterwards. Fencing makes you an unusually powerful and deadly ratio of sweaty-to-smelly. Either do laundry immediately, or regret it.

-Fencing swords hurt. Not a lot, but just enough so that every time I said "oww" from anticipation of someone poking me, I lost a little bit of that "cool wife" thing. Don't do this. Wait to actually be poked before saying oww, and try to be in actual pain. And, definitely don't say oww when you are only trying to put the face mask on. You lose major cool points there.

-The fencing jackets have a built-in, thong-like adjustable strap. Make sure your fencing jacket fits just right or is a little big. I'll let you figure out why.

-Face masks: also surprisingly sweaty. Prepare yourself with a bandana, as you cannot wipe the sweat off your brow at any time without knocking the mask off. You especially cannot try doing this during a match.

-If you happen to have a young whipper-snapper of only 16 as your teacher, try not to take offense when he mocks that hardly anyone in the adult beginning fencing class can touch their toes. He is young. He has no idea what's coming.

-Chest protectors are VERY important. Don't forget to wear them.

-Chest protectors only protect the chest.

-Listen carefully to the type of sword you will be working with. It affects your fighting strategy. A foil is like the sword the Three Musketeers use, and is meant to poke people in the torso only. You also have what is called "priority," which means that once the person who makes the first move is blocked (or "perried"), they can't get a point until the other person tries to make a move and you defend yourself against them. Sabre is the second type of sword. It is like a pirate sword, and your arms and legs are a target. These fights tend to go faster, as it is more "free:" anyone can poke anybody else at any time. Lastly, an epee is a bigger (and heavier) foil, and is good for tall people like my husband to repeatedly win matches against smaller, weaker individuals that he might have to drive home with.

-Be aggressive. The best fighters seem to be.

-Take out all of your anger at fencing. You can barely see the other guy's face. Sticking your tongue out at him while fighting is a total possibility, and I would dare say encouraged.

-Footwork is crucial to staying balanced and moving in the most powerful way. It will also be the source of major leg cramping about 36 hours after your first class. Prepare yourself with ice and stretching.

-Enjoy your moment of shining glory when you beat your husband in a match. He will claim it is because of the type of sword and fighting, but you will know it is because you couldn't lose 'em all.

Posed picture time!


Where we took our class



Me, post match. You understand the sweat thing now.



Stephen and me at the end of class. Awwww.



These lessons are certain not advice for marriage or for working through problems, but it was definitely a lot of fun to share this experience with the man I love. We recommend it!

Plus, my husband can never take that win away from me.



*What else do you celebrate with, really?

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Spark My Pinterest

Just wanted to share a quick note about my favorite new site: Pinterest. I know I am not the first person to discover it, but I have to say it is really so cool. In the past, the way I tried to collect neat images online would include e-mailing a link to myself and writing cryptic notes that were impossible to decipher later ("DIY combed chair," really?). However, Pinterest works perfectly as my new bookmarking site for neat things I see, from home inspiration to delicious-looking treats. Plus, it lets me see what inspires others, too.

Are you on Pinterest? I would love to get a chance to follow you. Please lhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifeave your link in the comments, or find me on Pinterest here.

Happy pinning!

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School's Back in Session

Hello out there! Apparently I went on an unplanned summer blog hiatus, as my last post was over two months ago. Like I'm guessing you had, I have had a very busy summer. Here's a bit of what I have been up to:

-It feels like every weekend had a birthday, party, or holiday, and I was finally able to visit my sister at her work in Disneyland. She is having a blast working in the happiest place on earth, and it wasn't too bad getting to spend a day in the park with her, either. My autumn weekends look like they will be just as busy, too. Good thing I have the work week to recover.

-I have been doing a lot of cooking lately (um, like always, actually). I have decided that I will be keeping a food diary of what I'm cooking with notes about what that food or recipe means to me. I will be sharing family memories, the special occasions at which we have this food, and anyone I cook with. This will be off the Internet, but I am thinking I will occasionally share the recipes as well as the notes here on the blog. Would you be interested in that?

-I have been taking some classes, including learning more about my faith at church, and I am about to start learning American Sign Language and taking another Bible study (super excited about both of these). And, this week Stephen and I finish up our introductory fencing lessons. That's right, fencing. Like with swords. I will have a larger post about what we have learned, and a bit of fencing humor for you guys in the next couple weeks, but I will tell you that it is just as fun as you expect it to be, and I highly recommend you make a "point" (eh? EH?) to try it for yourself! If you are in the Fresno-area, we went here, and recommend it very highly!

I plan to blog a bit more than I have been. I know you've heard this promise before, but I am ready (and really wanting to) get back into my writing routine. I miss writing and I miss the awesome feedback I get from anyone who reads about my crazy life.

See you very soon!

Learn From Me

Learn from me, the online shopper who has learned herself a valuable lesson:

I do love online shopping, but pressing "Submit" for that online traffic school and infraction total was a hard pill to swallow.

Guess I'm shopping bargain bins for at least...when is Christmas?

I guess there's always Ebay, an admittedly addictive lifeline for the bargain hunter, or a crazy bride.

The point is, do not wear your lead-filled shoes while driving, no matter how fabulous they look on top of those pedals.

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March? April? I Dunno...

I was just trotting along, living life, when all of a sudden, it was a month since I last wrote up anything on my blog.

There is no reason this should be the case, especially since I finished up school and have "tons of time on my hands" (or so one of my old professors claimed summer allowed).

Here's what's up:

-I went to go see Wicked in...March? April? I dunno. I was really good, and the actors are all very talented. Although I don't have pictures from the show (that's illegal, yo), I do have pictures of our seats.



Row six.

Jealous?

-I have started doing some work with my Dad, doing administrative and other work for his new accounting partnership. I started this in...March? April? I dunno. Anyway, I am still doing it and it's nice. I think we work well together, and I think I am helping him out in his new office. I also seem to be doing a lot of thinking, which is good because in summertime and 102-degree weather, I am notorious for not thinking.

-On June 1 (and 2), I had my first blogaversary. I totally forgot to get you anything. However, I'm gonna guess you forgot, too. How about as a gift, I write more? Yes, we like that? Cool. I also think I will be adding some new features to the blog, to keep it fresh for all of us. What? You double like that? Sweet.

-Stephen and I celebrated our own anniversary on May 1. We made it to our first of many more years of marriage. Woo! To celebrate, Stephen took me here.









Note: Several people have showed concern that for our anniversary my husband gave me weapon lessons, but I wanted to learn it, and to try something new. And you know what? Guns are terrifyingly loud and explode with a fireball out of the end when you fire them. Guns are real.*

-Oh, and my gift to Stephen for our anniversary was fencing lessons. Come August, we will be the best sword fighters this side of Pirates of the Caribbean.


*I am seriously not condoning or condemning gun use. This blog is neutral about pretty much all gun laws and in no way advocates having, not having, using, or not using a gun. Should you be around a gun, practice extreme caution. I do not recommend using a gun if not trained. Guns really can hurt and kill people, and neither of those is cool (or legal).**

**I figured this needed to be said.

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Fashion Friday Book Share

Hi there kids. It has been a crazy past couple of weeks for me (and probably for you, too--end of the school year, summer starting, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, shopping trips, Mother's Day, Cinco de Mayo, summer food cravings, etc.). Here's what I have been up too:

-My Dad recently moved offices and started a new partnership. I have been helping him move and doing some office administrative work, with potential to help more during the summer. We've hit a few moving-related bumps ("Gee, I wonder what box that file is in), but nothing that can't be overcome with determination and comfy shoes. So far, I think things are going very well.

-And speaking of my folks, they are over in Ireland right now, hopefully having a great time. They told me they aren't going to kiss the Blarney Stone because they had heard from my grandma's brother (a.k.a. Uncle Tiny) that the janitors pee on it. Gross. Gross, yet, somehow, I still would want to do it to say that I did. On a scale of 1 to 10, how weird does that make me?

-I am in my last week of the paralegal program at Fresno City. The program is definitely set up and operated well, but right now the paralegal thing is not for me. I'm looking forward to a very nice summer.

-Amy, our guys, and myself went to Gilroy for our impromptu shopping trip, and were met with much success. Amy and her guy nabbed some accessories, while Stephen and I basically built up our wardrobe to a very solid level. We will definitely make it through a few summers.

-I had a very nice Easter and Mother's Day spent with Stephen's and my family. My weekends are starting (er, continuing) to fill up with birthdays, graduations, fundraisers, and other events. Right now, I am pretty much booked until mid-June. Are your weekends looking about the same? What fun activities will you be up to?

-And, in alignment with this post title, I have started a fabulous school-is-ending-so-let's-celebrate book called The Secret Lives of Dresses. It's fairly new and I'd heard some good things about it, so I thought I would give it a shot since I like clothes, vintage styling, and books with potential to become rom-com movies. I am only a couple chapters in, and it is everything I want it to be, and more. If you tend to wait until the movie to see such wonderful tales, I anticipate that you won't be waiting very long. Yeah, it is that good.

Happy weekend everyone!

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